for my beloved internationals :)

Holy crap. That's my opinion at the moment. Just to let my beloved international readers understand what's going on in my beautiful life. Tomorrow I will have my last f*cking exam at this university which I probably don't really want to see soon after I left the country. My final exam (or state exam - whatever) will be on 16th June. Well, that's almost one month. I will start learning for that in June. I decided this long time ago. I am dead-tired guys, seriously I am. I don't feel like studying at all. In the finish it is always more difficult than on the way. You so feel that it is almost done that you just don't. You just say: ROT OP! :) No. I won't be cranky and I won't be unsatisfied. My life is still amazingly beautiful, I love it, more than ever I think. Although I miss a lot of you guys, I also found really interesting ones here in my country. Which kind of amazes me because I really thought there is nothing left to be explored and to be taught for Veronika. Well, there is. Again, I completely be taught by Mr. Life that I cannot expect everything, I cannot always know what will happen, which is still a fantastic feeling I have to say. I wrote my stupid thesises by the way, well, I would say they are quite good, I have a lot of work in them - one is for the pedagogy-psychology and the other is for the English and American Studies. I will have my own animator course and I am part of an animation company, which I would definitely do in Hungary as well if they offered me more money. Much more guys. I have to tell that Hungary hasn't changed. It is not a country for Veronika. Not yet. Unfortunately. Well, maybe once. When I will have enough stability which I completely lack nowadays. So I'm almost finished, also with this country and with the lifestyle I have now for 4 years. It was really a long time for me, very long. I'm fed up with studying. My friends are still amazing though here as well, I never forget them, and I will always miss them when I won't be here. As I miss now those with whom I was in Amsterdam most of the time. Lucie is studying now quite hard for her final exam, she is still so much in love, I'm always happy to hear her talking about their realtionship. I seriously miss even Michael, whom I cannot really meet that many times, but I really would like to in the future. It was one of the best things this semester that we have been to Daniel's place in Vienna and we spent a lot of time with Daniel, Betty and of course Cristoph, my funny guy (-->Have a nice life!), Vienna was amazing, but the thing that we were again together was much more fantastic. I miss Rune very much. You know my beloved reader, it is like you have to separate from those who you never want to be separated from. I still could cry if I think of January, the last sentences, and how I sat in the car which I felt like a prison which takes me somewhere I don't want to go. That was tough I have to say. I never ever wanna feel that. Never ever. That's what I miss the most guys! My freedom! Amsterdam for me is freedom itself. I do what I want to do there. I miss the shop very much, I miss my crazy beloved collegues, whom I love the most in A'dam, of course with Helga and Jos. I miss de Dam. I miss the Nord-see. I miss den Haag. I miss the flowers. I miss Baba. I miss Bulldog. I miss the grachts, I miss my bike, I miss 9th tram to Diemen Sniep, I miss my money, I miss Bershka, I miss Kalverstraat, I miss Six, I miss Red Light District, I miss Dam Square Souvenirs, I miss trains with two floors, I miss Utrecht, I miss speaking Dutch, I miss everything which I loved there. I miss the Netherlands. I miss Amsterdam, my only love. Ik hou van jou. Still. Mania or whatever you call it, it's still in me. And I think it just stays, I have no idea till when, we'll see. Maybe I will be fed up with that city and with that lifestyle - I'll see. Now I'm quite happy here as well, but I know it is only because of one person, my family and my friends. And I know that this kind of happiness is temporary in my case. And I really don't want to ruin other people's lives as I unconsciously did before. Well, I'm trying. I'm so trying you would never believe it. I am saying goodbye all the time. Now I also have to, because I f*cking haven't learned anything for my stupid last exam. So my little Miffies, take care, see you all after the 8th July, I love you sooooo much, smile a lot and appreciate your life as it is! Kisses! Veronika or Feronika! :D